Home > General rants > Being fat is to acceptable!

Being fat is to acceptable!

I read an article a couple of days ago http://beastmodaldomains.com/2011/11/09/fat-acceptance-is-unacceptable/ that left me with a serious bone to pick with the author.

The first thing I want is an apology. [and yes I am willing to kick his ass to get one because I am by far the toughest son of a bitch that has ever lived] This asshole made me laugh so fucking hard I woke my daughter up. Suffice to say she was rather upset with me. After putting her back to sleep by grabbing her shoulders and using shaking, jerking, motions, I realized something important: There are fat people who truly are exceptions to the rule. They are absolutely acceptable, and should be tolerated.

What about this guy!

HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKER!

If you are at all like me, gleefully waiting by the chimney every year with a [Mossberg 500] 12 gauge and a smile, hoping that you can dash the hopes and dreams of children everywhere by being the guy that killed Santa, the last thing you want is this fat fuck losing weight and getting away! I want him to get stuck in the chimney so I can insult him a bit first. I would also like to tell him that the only people I know of that entice children with toys while wearing overcoats usually show up on sex offender websites. Not to mention I am not too keen on the whole elven slavery thing. What an asshole!

And what about this dude!

ROB RIENER SAYS SMOKING IS BAD!

If he lost weight how could I call him a hypocrite? I need to call people hypocrites at least 10 to 12 times a week. Rob is my fall back on guy. When I just can’t think of a hypocrite off the top of my head, he is the name I use. Please, I implore you don’t encourage this guy to lose weight. [Also I kind of want him to die soon]

Also how could you forget about these dudes!

The hobbitses stole the sandwitch from us!

That’s right sports fans! These fat little fuckers crossed middle earth on foot taking out Goblins, Orcs, Uruks, a witch king, and single handedly took out Sauron! Without their fat asses, middle earth would have fallen into what Gandalf called the “Age of Shadow.” Isn’t that right Gandalf?

"Well maybe, but what about all of the skinny elves and humans that helped out"?

Shut the fuck up Gandalf! Mr. “I know everything about everything”.  Always have to try to one up somebody to make yourself look wise, don’t you asshole? Just smoke your wizard dope and try to pretend the whole middle earth thing didn’t all just happen in your head.

And last but not least how bout these guys?

Oompa Doompa Loompa dee dee, How come hot women never look at me?

Because you are fat little midget fucks that’s why! Still acceptable though.

So there you have it. I demand an apology as I decided last night I would suddenly turn sensitive about this topic that I don’t really give a shit about.

If you can go ahead and email that to unrighteousfuryhasballsbiggerthanthedeathstar@hotmail.com I would appreciate it!

I want a discounted shirt for the inconvenience to asshole!

Categories: General rants
  1. lisa
    December 7, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    Too vs to learn it or fire your proof reader.. #GrammarIsCool

    • Unrighteousfury
      December 7, 2011 at 10:54 pm

      Gee, thank you Lisa. After writing literally thousands of words a day in my job and at home. I occasionally misspell a word or two. Luckily for me there is somebody like you to correct my horrible spelling. Indeed why even use a spell check at all when we have awesome people like Lisa who will make sure to leave a comment or two about how horrible your grammar is rather than add something substantive to the conversation. Good job Lisa!

      Or wait…..I forgot you are a moron! You see my carefully crafted, and ingenious title was in response to something a fat chick [Which I assume you probably are] emailed to me, where she said and I quote “Being fat is to acceptable”. Since that was the title of her email [and the chief reason I wrote this brilliant article] I kept it as my title because I am just a dick like that.

      Luckily the “grammar police” caught up to me. I would hate it if for some reason somebody had to read a word that was misspelled. Even worse if I used a word in the wrong context! Holy fucking god!

      I bet you own a little yipper dog don’t you Lisa? You call it your kid, and gave it a gay name I bet. Come on Lisa what’s your little yipper dogs name? You can tell me….

      • December 8, 2011 at 12:14 am

        Or you could just have said “Oops, thanks!” corrected it and then not come across as – well – as you do.

      • lisa
        December 8, 2011 at 12:40 am

        I just figured since “verbally bitch slapping” is your self proclaimed mission you’d pay a little more attention to detail. *shrug* And Dante would love for you to call him a little yipper dog to his face…so the 135lbs of Rottie behind it could eat yours…come on douche bag…you can tell him

  2. December 8, 2011 at 12:03 am

    Hobbits are only fat because of elevensies. Sorry you woke your daughter up because of me. Do like I do with my fuck trophies and administer heavy doses of Benedryl so they’ll sleep like precious angels.

    • Unrighteousfury
      December 8, 2011 at 12:13 am

      Hmmm most good idea. You cross fit guys don’t by chance know how to make chloroform do you? Shaking them until they pass out is a lot of work! I like fuck trophy, that sounds a lot better than mistake.

  3. Unrighteousfury
    December 8, 2011 at 12:27 am

    Sorry Veridiana. PFFFF HAHAHAAHA Veridiana. That isn’t your real name is it? I will assume it isn’t. I will correct a mistake when I make one. The title stays, as it is just as awesome as the rest of my blog, and everything else I do!

    Here’s an idea! How bout you go write a blog about how I am a jerk and feed my ego a little more. I thought I was filled to the brim, but as it turns out there is room for more!

    • lisa
      December 8, 2011 at 12:45 am

      Then leave the title…correct your closing line

      • Unrighteousfury
        December 8, 2011 at 1:13 am

        Hmmmm no!

  4. Unrighteousfury
    December 8, 2011 at 1:07 am

    “Sigh” Lisa clean the grass out of your ears. I know it gets stuck in there sometimes when you are free grazing, but I already explained the title to you. After I beat your gay dog [I must assume he is gay since his name is Dante] to death with my bare fucking hands while watching you lust after my 180 pounds of perfection, you would probably eat it!

    This is why free grazing is illegal now. Fatties like yourself wander off the cattle cart and make yourselves feel better by correcting grammar. Well good for you Lisa! I commend you on your “Chronicles of Riddick” like escape from butcher bay! Not to worry, there are plenty more websites out there for you to go and nitpick about how they spell the content you don’t like.

    You are still dazzling me with your superior intellect. Here I thought dogs were just dumb fucking animals that are only there for my personal amusement, and how useful they can be fetching the other animals I kill on a regular basis. As it turns out though you have a wonder dog that can understand insults, and respond to them. With such an amazing animal at your disposal why are you policing internet grammar when you could be winning dog shows all across the country?

    Maybe you got sick of animal shows eh? Were you coming in second place to much? Did your milk sour? You can tell me Lisa. As you can clearly see I am a very caring person. Sit back in the chair er…….lay down on the floor er…. whatever will make you fit in my comfortable living room and tell DR. Fury all about it.

    • lisa
      December 8, 2011 at 1:17 am

      I never said anything about not liking the content dude…I simply pointed out a few typos. And now I’m poking a billigerent bear with a stick for my amusement 🙂

      • Unrighteousfury
        December 8, 2011 at 1:22 am

        It’s my pleasure! :} Keeps my skills sharp for when I decide to go back to insulting CRW!

  5. December 8, 2011 at 1:31 am

    Could you imagine if Fury, Epic, and Drywall ever ganged up on someone? Epically brutal destromination of enormous cockpunch proportions!

    • lisa
      December 8, 2011 at 1:49 am

      Lmao. Indeed. Yet I’m not entirely convinced they are not the same person 😛 lol

  6. Matty
    December 8, 2011 at 3:30 am

    This wasted 5 minutes of my life. Go ahead and rebut in your amateur troll fashion if it pleases you; I’ll be elsewhere doing something useful.

    • Unrighteousfury
      December 8, 2011 at 3:53 am

      Rebut what?

  7. Owen
    April 23, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    I thought this was about accepting fat people? how did grammar become the main topic? And how retarded are both of you for wasting your time talking about it? Dont know about anyone else but i want my 5 minutes back.

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