Home > General rants > Gay Marriage and Fucking Pigs, I Don’t Give a Shit Either Way

Gay Marriage and Fucking Pigs, I Don’t Give a Shit Either Way

Well the gay marriage thing is back with a vengeance. Republican contenders for president are raging about keeping marriage pure to keep their base of conservative pretenders in line. The whole thing makes me want to drink ipecac and vomit spasmodically after eating chilly cheese dogs all over Santorum and Romney’s face!

Don’t get me wrong, I am no huge fan of the gay community and their stupid parades that shut down traffic so we can all watch nipple-pierced, balding, ass fuckers in tight leather carry boom boxes 80’s style on their shoulders with shitty club music playing. Or we are treated to lesbians who put a lie to every thing I learned watching pornos as a kid. Lesbians are supposed to be fucking hot blond bitches with big boobs  that seductively invite the pizza guy to be the baloney in the sandwich they are all about to make.  Instead we are treated to to women that make us think “I don’t think a fifth of Jack would keep ol’ winky awake trying to fuck her, she looks like a god damn out of shape marine.”

All of that aside though….who gives a fuck if faggots get married? Just look at the stupid arguments for wanting to ban gay marriage.

We need to keep marriage pure.

This is an especially stupid argument. I don’t want to even begin to try to describe the things I do with my future wife in the bedroom, but I can guarantee you that making a vow to God on an alter doesn’t make them pure.

God doesn’t like gays.  So what? He doesn’t like you in all probability either. In fact, his master plan is to allow a demon from hell to take over the earth and butcher the group of people that worship him so he can send his son in to save them all. I mean, really think about that. If a firefighter set fire to a house so he could then go in to rescue the people in it, he would be thrown in prison for the rest of life. Then, the same people who claim to be Christians would say, “Give that fucker the death penalty.”

I don’t want my kids exposed to gay couples making out and holding hands in the street. So fucking what, you glistening ebony tool! I don’t want my kids to have to see fat straight people walking in the street stuffing their mouth full of food  in the sweltering summer heat. Unfortunately, they have a fundamental right to be disgusting fucks and so do queers. Tell your kids to stop being pussies, their life is gonna be full of way worse shit then two members of the same sex making out on the street!

Finally my favorite argument of all,

If you legalize gay marriage, thus changing the definition of marriage, what is stopping somebody from marrying a pig, or a goat? 

Nothing. Nothing at all. Who gives a shit about that either? Oh, whats that? You want to try to make some moral argument that marrying and fucking a pig is wrong and disgusting? That is because you are stupid! I have personally shot in the face and gutted pretty much every kind of animal that exists and I can personally tell you that all of them would much rather be raped by Bubba in a wedding dress then to have their balls cut off in a slaughter house with no sedative. They would probably prefer it to being hung upside down while still alive and having their throat cuts in front of their families too, all so that the meat can get to you and your family, and your kid can bitch that he doesn’t want to eat your freshly made awesome pork chop so you throw the fucking shit away anyhow.  Go fuck a horse, a cow, a sheep, a goddamn gopher. I don’t care. Put little dresses on them and get married to them. Fuck animals! Silly bastards are only useful to me for eating and shooting anyway.

I don’t ever want to hear from anybody ever again that people who commit bestiality should go to jail, while these same people consume assassinated animal flesh like it is going out of style.  Fucking hypocrites.

Eat your meat, fuck your meat, fuck a dude, I don’t give a shit what you assholes do. You all make me physically ill.

  1. Anonymous
    March 22, 2012 at 8:47 pm

    All I can say is that your an annoying idiot. There’s not a particular reason as to why I think this other than your an annoying idiot. M.W.

  2. March 25, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Uraguay. AKA U R Gay.

  3. Anonymous
    April 18, 2012 at 5:45 am

    well fags r basically pigs so might as well fuck my pork chop i mean it doesnt talk back and u can eat it after ur done so fuck fags im going wit my pork chop.

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