Home > General rants > Feminists are a joke.

Feminists are a joke.

I  can’t believe it is 2012 and women are still actually following the dying religion that is feminism. Leave it to a woman to follow an obviously failed ideology for most of her life.

There have been many good articles about why feminism sucks in general, but I thought maybe I could reach out to feminists and save them from themselves. Now, I know many men out there think they can cure feminists by inserting their penis into one and humping the stupid out of them, but I am here to tell you it doesn’t work. Slapping them across their face doesn’t work either, because feminists are cowardly hypocrites that want equal rights  until they get punched in the face.  Then all of a sudden they say “I am a girl! I can’t believe he hit a girl!” Well believe it darlin’. That is how men get treated- with barbarism and ass kicking!

If you want to be treated like a man we can accommodate you.

First, lets be honest. Women are not equal to men.  It all comes down to 1 word, Testosterone! We have more of it and it makes us literally better at everything. It makes us faster, stronger, smarter and able to kick the average [and above average] woman’s ass if we decide the blood her nose produces goes good with our satin tie.

Feminists are the destroyers of the natural world. They actually think women are equal to men….I know, crazy isn’t it?

I decided I would point out (using my testosterone-filled man brain that beats the crap out of a feminist’s with one hand tied behind it’s back while enjoying a bowl of soup) why feminism is stupid and hypocritical.

First, let us examine the real reason feminists are upset. I pulled this picture from feminist.com showing their members and supporters to illustrate what the gripe really is. I circled the faces of the ones I wouldn’t have sex with.  I also highlighted the one who’s sexuality is in question.

As you can clearly see, I would have zero sex with any of these women regardless of liquor intake. Since I am a very attractive man, I assume that other very attractive men also won’t have sex with them. Which puts them into the unfuckable category.

To be perfectly honest, if I couldn’t have sex with an attractive woman again for the rest of my life I would probably kill myself [hint hint]. These miserable creatures, though, decided that since they couldn’t have a decent man they would try to torture men to death instead using incessant bitching and their silly right to vote.

I want to reach out these women and try to help them get past their obvious physical shortcoming so that they no longer have an emotionally stunted existence filled with bitching and moaning about how oppressed women are, while leaving out how depressed men are having to hear about it. Below are a few tips to the women over at feminist.com to help them reach their obvious goal of attracting a smart and handsome man.

1. Lose some weight porkies.

For gods sakes your woman bodies are hideous. Do you switch off between bitching on the loud mic and stuffing cream filled treats into your mouths? How in the hell do you manage to scream about equality without your blood sugar bottoming out? I would also like to know how the shit you burn your bras with pudgy hands. Isn’t hard to work the Bic? 

It isn’t that fat chicks aren’t allowed to have some love- they are! The problem you Fem creatures have is that fat chicks can usually get boned because they are really cool to hang out with, thus making up for their fatness and counter-acting a hot male’s general disgust at even being around them. Fem creatures are not cool to hang out with because they have no sense of humor and, well…they are fem creatures. Who wants to hang out with a bitch all day- especially a fat one?

2. Have you thought about plastic surgery? You should have by now because your faces look like they were pulled off by draft horses then sewn back on by leather face. At least wear some more make up or something. For the love of god do you actually like getting seen in public looking like that? 

3. Stop burning your bras! Seriously stop it! Trust me when I tell you that you need them.

Now you might be thinking “Hey Unrighteousfury, you prick, maybe these hogs from aboutfeminist.com are gross and unboneable but that doesn’t mean most feminists aren’t attractive!

Really? Lets take a look shall we. Here are some pics of some of the most famous fem creatures of all time.

Betty Friedan was quite the looker wasn't she? MMMMM yummy.

Ruth Ginsburg is quite the dish.

Think I hand picked these women? Think again.

Any feminist I have looked up is an ugly old hog. Look for yourself.

Feminists are the left overs.  They are the women that get upset that other women have hot men and try to convince them it is wrong by telling them that being with a man is shackling. The truth is they are pissed off that you have a man that is willing to sleep with you. It is as simple as that.

Let me tell you where the feminist ideal really starts to fail though. You see, technology is all that allows women to have any real intrinsic value on society. They can type, and do some basic math for accounting- oh and lets not forget most teachers are women [yuck]. Look how well that has worked for our young.

Think women can do more, do you? That’s because you never looked at the statistics. A whopping 83% of engineering degrees are earned by men, while women get useless degrees in the arts.  That’s right! Men are out there building shit like bridges and spaceships. It’s time women just came out and said the truth. It isn’t that you don’t want to work on engineering projects you just can’t! Anybody who has ever seen a woman try to build something knows instinctively that it is going to be a fail! How many female mechanics would you take your car to? That’s what I thought.

Sooner or later the technological clock is going to go back to zero. Either a cataclysmic event will happen, or a man made event will happen, but rest assured it will happen. Technology will one day [and probably soon] collapse. When that happens men are going to begin to look at women like we used to. Simply put, how much value is a feminist going to bring to the table when technology fails? Let’s find out.

The first value a woman will have in a post apocalyptic society will of course be her sex appeal. As we have plainly seen feminists don’t have any.

The second value will be a woman’s ability to birth children and be a good mother. Feminists selfishly believe that children are burdensome to women [like women have so much more to offer]. Because of this, feminists have lost their mommy instinct. Men pick up on that, just so you fem creatures know. If you have no sex appeal or ability to be  a good mom, men will just pass right by you [kinda like they do now].  

 The third thing men will look for is obedience from their women. I can almost see the fems shivering at the mere mention of this quality. Think about it though, why should I protect you from marauding men, psychopaths, and the elements if you can’t suck up to me a little bit, ok…well maybe a lot.  

Yup! When the technological clock goes back to zero fems will be fucked, and not in a good way. I just don’t see what value they will bring to the table. A fem might say “We will build our own female communes that are self sufficient and do our own hunting and grow our own food.” Fine. That will work out perfectly until a band of marauding testosterone filled men decide to take it from you. Guess what? There won’t be a damn thing you can do about it either.

In today’s society you are only just tolerated not liked. In a post apocalyptic society you will be worse than useless. I am here to help you, though, fem creatures. I know…. BIG HEART!  I have included some pictures below to help you on your hopefully new found quest to be the subservient, child bearing, man obeying, woman you have the potential to be.

Step 1: Practice sucking now! 

I have helpfully included arrows to guide you down the path of how to do this correctly. The top arrow clearly highlights the mouth as a starting point. The second arrow is where you should be after two weeks. The third arrow shows where you should be in a month. Trust me Fems, this a skill you are going to need in a post apocalyptic world.

Step 2: Learn how to carry our shit like the mule you will be.

Really it's all about dispersing the weight correctly.

Step 3: Shut the fuck up! 

I have helpfully circled the part of the body that needs to remain shut!

Welp, good luck to ya. I hope these tricks and tips can help the feminist movement going forward.  Even if you decide not to follow them now make a mental note…sooner or later…

  1. dick whippin fool
    April 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Ain’t this the fuckin truth.

  2. April 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    You’re a man of ridiculous depth and intelligence. Bravo on your incredible insight, powerful wit, and skill with MS Paint!

    • April 19, 2012 at 9:03 pm

      How sophisticated do you like your red arrows Mike? Perhaps I should have used Adobe Photo Shop Deluxe Addition. Would that have made the little red arrows up to par for you Mike? Maybe you just can’t see them so well because your gay aviator sunglasses are in the way.

  3. Lilly
    May 11, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    I’m a girl and I loved it lol… Obviously not a feminist;). I am very old fashion and yet I’m only in my 20’s…No I won’t do a man’s job nor will I start shouting like a hysteric”I can do it myself!!!” when a man opens the door for me, pulls my chair, etc! Love your rants dear;).

  4. Lilly
    May 11, 2012 at 3:29 pm

    Forgot to add…My sister is a fem…Great times together…NOT!;) Calls me a whore for accepting drinks from guys in bars, wearing makeup and sexy outfits…Good Lord…;).

  5. Lilly
    May 11, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    About your rape rant… I agree that many times, it isn’t true but it does happen and under certain circumstances, it remains undisclosed. I was drugged and raped a few years ago. I had a total of 2 drinks in a nightclub so I certainly wasn’t drunk but I have no recall of anything at all not even who might have done that to me. I woke up the next day at home(even had the courtesy of raping me at home, how nice) with the evidence(2 condoms wrappers on the floor). My friend, well not such a good friend after all, left me alone in the club and left with who knows who so I guess someone saw an opportunity…I have a very innocent, naive face and well I am pretty naive to tell you the truth. Part of it is my fault, I should have left when my friend(and watched my drink) did but I stayed…How did that person find out where I live you might be thinking? Well, very easy, looked in my wallet. Why didn’t I report it/do/say anything about it? Partly because I blamed myself and my naivety. Also, I just wanted to forget and move on. See, I’m no “anonymous coward” posting a fake story, my picture is there and it truly did happen to me. Good thing at least is that it left no scars/any kind of damage(physical,psychological etc). Well, that’s it for me;) Sorry for the long post;). Great day/evening to you.

    • May 11, 2012 at 10:51 pm

      I am sorry that happened to you. You see though, you are the perfect example of why the rape liars [and there many] make it more difficult for women with legitimate stories to come forward.

      • misslilly82
        May 12, 2012 at 2:47 pm

        That’s true. I didn’t think anyone would believe me so I just let it go. I’ve seen it many times…Girls accusing guys of rape because they were dumped, insulted etc… It makes the real stories like mine go to shit…pardon my language. Well, good day;).

  6. Lilly
    May 11, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Forgot to add…I talked to many people that night and I’m a very open book with strangers(naivety…)…share readily about myself and the fact that I’m single, live alone etc which is incredibly stupid for a smart girl like myself I know. Live and learn;)

  7. January 26, 2013 at 5:40 am

    Mm, I’m curious to what cotnus as a feminist fashion blog, too. There was a post at Fashion For Writers that asked Are fashion bloggers contributing and encouraging the normalization of heteronormative, pre-second wave feminism, socially conservative relationships between men and women? I think EVERY single successful personal style blog has 1) a two-person team consisting of a female personal style blogger and her steady, long-term boyfriend or husband, who was already a photographer or willingly became one over the course of timeWhich I thought was interesting. Fashion blogs, unless they’re essay-inclined, are hard to politicise unless the photographic subject/blogger is visibly apart from the norm. It’s hard to show non-radical feminism in a photograph, but presenting yourself as a gorgeous sylph who wears things, bakes, and has a boyfriend without making a point of saying [proactive feminist stuff] doesn’t do much to sway the status quo. I’d guess that it’s not that there aren’t many fashion blogs run by personal feminists, it’s that it’s easier to be an oft-linked personal & private feminist than it is to be a loud, public feminist and have a mainstream-successful fashion blog.

  8. Anonymous
    March 6, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    Wow, what a tough little man we have here. A bad ass! Only on the internet ofc. I bet all that rage comes from you being rejected by some lady with brains in their place or cos you have your mother pushing you around to do house chores. Yep. Typical repressed assholes. Perhaps you should go do some more laundry. Oh! And don’t be mistaken: your nose bleeds the same way any woman’s does…

  9. Anonymous
    March 6, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    Keep throwing your toys out of the pram! Women don’t care about your dark-age opinions and your lack of ability to accept change. I suppose you think slavery was right too and we should go back to that. How about making homosexuality illegal again while you’re at it!!!

    • March 7, 2013 at 5:23 am

      Those sound like really good ideas. Are you sure you are not a man.

  10. JJ
    March 6, 2013 at 3:53 pm

    What a stinking, disgusting asshole this guy is.

  11. sn245
    March 23, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    This is fucking disgusting. Lilly – the only person to blame for your rape is the person that raped you.

    • March 24, 2013 at 4:22 pm

      I still feel somewhat responsible though…I really need to learn to be more careful because I trust too easily. I’m not saying it’s all my fault but I’m willing to acknowledge my part in it.

  12. March 25, 2013 at 12:56 am

    It’s not the fault of the victim ever. This is why I get so pissed at the many false accusations of rape thrown around these days.

    • misslilly82
      March 25, 2013 at 3:25 am

      I know but I can’t help thinking I could have avoided it. Where are you located(country) just out of curiosity? It’s always nice to know a little who you are talking to hehe.

  13. Brandon
    March 28, 2013 at 12:30 am

    while I acknowledge that you have some valid points, I’m pretty thrown off by your lack of empathy. You, me, any male in the world could have been born a woman. If you had, and some guy was basically calling you a stupid, baby shitting slave, you might find it preferable to be a bitch rather than cater to someone who doesnt appreciate you. However, I agree that we cannot have total equality. Simply because if a woman hits me in the face, and it does some damage, and I am legally allowed to return in kind, I would.

    • March 28, 2013 at 5:07 am

      Did I call women baby shitting slaves? I love women…it’s the feminists that are fucking evil and won’t acknowledge that they only have their rights because men allow it. May not be pretty, but if men decided tomorrow to take away women’s rights they couldn’t do a damned thing about it.

  14. April 18, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    Feminists aren’t particularly happy are they. I mean, how could they be when millions of years of evolution and thousands of years of social structure have made sure that the women who were the best mothers and home makers bread while nut-jobs who insisted in competing with men died usually violently. It’s only in the last hundred years or so that these little fools have decided that they can compete, but they make far too much noise with the result that a lot of women think they should be feminists and when they walk down the feminist path find themselves very unhappy.
    Here’s a typical scenario which I see in the UK frequently… Man and woman fall in love. Man marries woman and has kids. Woman grows discontent because she sits on her arse watching daytime tv and being brainwashed with this feminist shit. Woman begins to compete for dominance in home. Man works longer hours to avoid stupid bitch. Man is unhappy. Woman is unhappy. They stay married and live unhappily ever after.
    For men who choose to get divorced there are a lot of ways to mitigate and circumvent the CSA and most men with internationally marketable skills earn enough that the child support is manageable.Really sad how some women who sit on their butts all day long think that doing nothing makes them our equals then are surprised when we cast them aside and say “want to be my equal? Don’t let me stop you”. Idiots.

    • April 23, 2013 at 3:35 am

      I am surprised by this. I was under the impression that feminism was a much more tolerable undertaking in the U.K than it is stateside.

  15. May 13, 2013 at 1:29 am

    Unrighteousfury, all extremely valid points… Finally someone who can see the truth. As for all the “can’t accept change” bullshit comments; well, there is no change. It’s as he said if men decided to take away women’s rights tomorrow, what are you really going to do about it???

    • May 24, 2013 at 4:24 am

      Most wise of you to say so Robert…most wise indeed.

  1. April 20, 2012 at 11:54 am

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