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Stop greeting me in foriegn languages you don’t know asshole!

May 12, 2012 1 comment

It pisses me off to no end when some asshole decides to say hello, or goodbye to me in another language, especially one they don’t know!

You know the fucking people I’m talking about. You will say something like “Good morning Fred.” and they will say some bullshit like “Buenos Dias.” Hey Fred, do you know spanish? No you don’t know spanish you dildo, so stop pretending you are suddenly cultured by greeting in a language you don’t know, in order to impress me with how “cultured” you are.

While you are at it don’t say Konichiwa, Aloha, Hola, Ciao or any other bullshit. Let me break this down for the Freds of the world.

 

I say Good morning dipshit!

 

I say Buenos Dias.

Learn the fucking difference between the two.

 

 

 

 

 

You fuckers aren’t fooling anybody! You are not cultured and awesome because you picked up one line in a foreign language.

Then we have these other assholes here!

I am going to practice my Chinese at this Chinese restaurant, by ordering in their native language. Gee, aren’t I cultured?

 

No asshole, you aren’t! That female server probably spent 3 months in the belly of a cross continental smuggling vessel getting raped 12 times a day. Then she probably got sold the second she hit U.S soil to some perv who kept her in his basement for a year putting cigarettes  out on her nipples.  She probably was only freed just two weeks ago by police.

Yet here you are, Fred! Trying to order sweet and sour chicken in Mandarin Chinese  when the bitch speaks Cantonese! She isn’t impressed, Fred. She just wants you to eat your fucking food and get the hell out of her shop so she can go home and cry herself to sleep.

But here is Fred all “Ching chong pang pong” and the server looks at him like “What the fuck are you smoking you fat white fuck?”

Speak your own fucking language unless you actually know another one, you poser dick heads! Nobody thinks you are cute, or cultured. Just say hello in the fucking morning!

Oh, and all you stupid bitches who say “Ciao!” or “Ciao Bella!” Just because you carry last season’s Prada handbag does not mean you don’t look like an asshole when you try to speak Italian! Hit yourself in the head with a blunt object.