If rape isn’t funny-then why do women keep making it a joke?

I recently had a chance to play catch up with a female friend I hadn’t seen in years. During the course of our conversation I brought up a mutual acquaintance of ours who is a man.

After a short pause she said “I don’t want to talk about him.” When I asked her why she said “Because things happened I don’t want to talk about with him, that’s why.”

I knew immediately where this was going, and so do 90% of men who are reading this…A rape story

Anyway, long story short, she launched into a detailed account of how he had forced himself on her three years ago at a party..blah blah blah. I realized while she was recalling her elaborate tale of being victimized by this boorish brute, that I had heard a story eerily similar to the one she told not very long ago by another good friend of mine who is a woman.

That got my gears spinning, and I realized something important. Every woman I have ever met and spent any real time with seems to have a rape story. I immediately called every female friend I could think of and sure enough, my suspicions were confirmed.

All of them had either been raped, molested, or in some way sexually attacked in their life. I called a few of my male friends and asked them to do the same with their female friends, as it turns out again the results were astounding.

Every one of them had a rape story.

I pulled up some statistics on rape in the United States and found out there are roughly 216,000 rapes in this country a year.

The population of the United States is about 300 million, 51% of which are women.  This mean the population of women in the U.S is roughly 153,000,000 so the percentage of women actually raped in this country statistically is less than 1%

This was interesting to me since every women has apparently been raped. I will break it down for you in this graph below.

Why would a woman lie about being raped? The answer to me was plain as day!

Look, to all you dumb women out there: We know that rape is a terrible thing and a tragedy. By lying about it over and over again, people literally lose interest in it even being a big deal.

If literally every woman a man runs into has a story about being raped, molested, sexually attacked, etc., men quickly lose interest in the fact that women get raped at all. When it does actually happen and some sick bastard rapes a woman, men don’t know if they should even believe her!

Here are some tell tale signs a woman is full of shit about being raped. By following these simple rules you can call her out on her bullshit!

1. If a woman brings up being raped without being asked, tell her to name the attacker. Statistics say 2/3 are friends or family. So if she says she doesn’t know this should raise a flag that she might be full of shit.

2. Ask her if she reported the rape. If she didn’t [and it seems they never do] tell her you will be willing to go with her while she does. Offer to get her help if she needs it, since it was such a traumatic event. If she continually refuses, she might be full of shit!

3. If you are suspicious she might be full of shit, ask around and see how many men she has accused of raping her. If it is more than one…..she might be full of shit.

I know there will be women who read this that think I might be an insensitive prick. Think about it though, ladies. Don’t you all have a friend or two that cry rape that you are just a little bit suspicious of being full of shit?

Is it really any wonder that men have become immune to rape? It is almost like it is no big deal to us anymore. “Gee, honey, whats on the news tonight?”

“Aw same old shit- some chick got raped.”

In closing let me say this:

Police your own, ladies- or sooner or later men just will stop caring at all.

Occupation Round 2: A Manly Response to a Mustardly Woman!

I recently came across a brilliantly, simplistic, article by financial guru Dave Ramsey.Using inarguable man logic he quickly deduced that the wall street protesters are mostly morons.

Knowing that there is always a moron who wants to disagree with somebody who is so obviously right I decided to google search about the occupy movement with Dave Ramsey’s name. Sure as shit, I came across this little gem.

http://mustardampersand.com/2011/10/20/dear-dave-ramsey-occupy-wall-street-is-not-a-waste-of-my-time-and-especially-not-yours/

This article is living proof that women should just shut their mouths and bow down to their man overlords when it comes to politics [and almost everything else for that matter].

The author decided to go point by point to refute most of Dave Ramsey’s claims. I decided I would add my brilliant commentary to the subject to enlighten any of you poor fools out there who may actually agree with this foolish Trog!

Note: Original author Dave Ramsey text in BOLD BLACK, Stupid Female commentary in HOT PINK! My commentary will be in bad ass blue!

Dear Dave Ramsey, Occupy Wall Street is not a waste of my time and especially not yours.
October 20, 2011
tags: classism, come get your folks, dave ramsey, occupy, occupy movement, occupy wall street, privilege
by Bailey

Tonight I had the extreme displeasure of reading a blog post written by The Famous Dave Ramsey, someone many of my friends love for teaching them how to manage their money. I won’t deny that his program works for untold numbers of people. I’ve seen it in action. But his stance on the Occupy movement is unforgivably inconsiderate and clearly takes place from a position of clear privilege.

So what can we deduce already? The first thing that is interesting to me is that this woman claims she has friends, when she apparently has trouble forgiving somebody for just stating their opinion [A very womanly thing to do]. The next stupid thing on the list she states is that he is inconsiderate [A word no man I know would ever use], when he obviously considered the subject carefully enough to post a blog on his website where the whole world can see it. This exposes him to blow back, losing sponsors, etc. So I think he considered what he was doing very carefully before he did it! The next thing on the list this moron decided to accuse Dave of was taking his view from a place of privilege. Here is the definition of the word privilege according to Webster’s dictionary:

: a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit,

I must assume she was saying “Dave has lots of money so that means he is privileged.”

Since Dave has no right to unearned money, and only the right to keep earned money, the definition doesn’t fit here. Further, he obviously wasn’t immune to this thoughtless airhead picking apart his article. So perhaps she can expand on what that privilege is he looks down on people from.

So I’ve decided to write a point-by-point response to Ramsey’s blog post. I’m not a political expert. The last couple of years have been, for me, a sort of crash course in caring about politics. But I do have a lot of opinions and a lot of feelings, and I think that denying anyone the right to a life above the poverty line is unforgivable.

It is obvious you are not a political expert. Don’t worry, you aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know! If there was any doubt a woman wrote this article it is quickly dismissed with the word “feelings.” Just the facts please lady. Nobody gives a shit how you “feel” about anything. I feel you are a moron! The difference is that I am willing to prove it.

There is that word “unforgivable” again. She is obviously the one who hasn’t considered anything. She says “Denying anyone the right to a life above the poverty line is unforgivable.” What about rapists? They fall into the “anyone ” category don’t they? Prison life seems to me to be below the poverty line….unless of course 24 cents a day tickles your fancy! This line also implies that Dave has something to do with people living in poverty, when it seems his entire goal is to keep people out of it. Unless, of course, she is saying that Dave has the godlike powers to deny anybody anything.

Ramsey introduces his post by saying that the Occupy movement doesn’t have any clearly stated goals. This is a fact, but it’s not the end of the story and it does not make them unworthy of thought.

Yes it does! You just said that Occupy has no clearly stated goals.Why is there even a need to expand on this at all? It is common knowledge.What’s that you say? Oh, right. Got it. Your feelings took over your brain again. Ok, continue.

Yes, I agree that it is problematic that the national Occupy movement has not made defined demands. But at the same time, this is a growing movement that gains momentum by the day.

Momentum for what?

When I wrote my first piece about this, we were in the middle of a media blackout (now that we’re in a ‘media circus’ over it, it’s easy for the media to say that’s what it was). Now, it’s all over the news. Every time I turn on NPR, they’re talking about some aspect of it. All presidential candidates are discussing it in all debates and all are now coming up with tax plans to win the people over. This movement is not going away,

Did somebody say it was?

and it’s silly for anyone to pretend otherwise. There’s a reason there haven’t been any demands made.

And those reasons would be….?

There will be demands made,

Ok, gotcha…oh wait, what?

but this movement must make it into the hearts, and more importantly, the platforms, of politicians before the change we so desire can take place.

You still haven’t told us what those changes are.

“No Government Bailouts!”

Banks and big companies should not receive taxpayer money for a bailout while their CEOs are making hundreds of millions of dollars. If that’s your gripe, then you’re protesting in the wrong location. Pack up and head to Washington, D.C., to deliver your message to the current administration. Don’t get me wrong—I totally support a company’s freedom to pay their leaders well. I just don’t believe that I, as a taxpayer, should subsidize those huge salaries in the form of taxpayer bailouts. I pay my own team members; I don’t need to pay everyone else’s too.

Honestly, this isn’t that bad. I think pretty much everyone can agree on this one. The bailouts did some good in 2008,

Ok, well then most of us don’t agree apparently because millions don’t think they did at all.

but if you’ll notice, we’re still floundering financially.

No shit! Bail out shmail out!

The promises made were not fulfilled. Corporate restructuring did not turn out the way everyone expected it to, and we’re still in a mess.

You mean corporate restructuring didn’t occur like left wing dick heads thought it would?

I told you fucking idiots!

No, there should not be government bailouts.

Really? I thought you just said one of them helped in 2008.

But there should be government restrictions and government regulations of big business.

This is the part where you are supposed to name those restrictions. No? Ok, we will leave that to a man then.

Call me whatever you like, but that’s what I think. There is no reason we should be in this mess other than corporate greed, which brings me to our next point.

I hope this time you actually make one!

“Down with Corporate Greed!”

If you believe a specific company is acting purely out of greed, then don’t just get mad—do something.Point out where and how they’re greedy and let the world know. Stop doing business with them. If enough people listen to you, the company will get the message because you’ll hit them where it hurts: the bottom line. If they don’t get their act together, then they’ll go out of business and another business will take their place.

We’re all in agreement that greed is bad.

No we’re not,

It’s not one of the Seven Deadly Sins for no reason.

Well what is the reason?

But the fundamental problem with Ramsey’s argument here is that he assumes those who most need financial help are able to choose where they shop, able to choose where they spend their money.

Oh right, I get it….if you are poor [like me] you no longer have freedom of choice…and you lose all ability to have any decision making capabilities at all.

For those who live at or below the poverty line, it’s impossible to make such a “discerning” choice.

Ok got it!

Shopping at the nearest, cheapest supermarket is often the only choice.

And usually a good one.

Those who live paycheck to paycheck frequently work odd jobs in the service and/or no-collar industry, where they have irregular hours and have to go to the supermarket when they can.

Ok…your point is….

This often requires the use of public transportation,

Really? Cause I drive a car.

which only runs at certain hours. Because this person is either going alone or with one or more children (more distractions while you’re trying to shop quickly), he or she can only take what is easy to carry and probably non-perishable, since the journey probably takes at least half an hour each way.

This is where you back your point with statistics…..no? Just more feeling based bullshit? Ok, continue.

There’s a reason the people spending their days at the Occupy movement are able to do so. Yes, they are privileged.

Let’s hear what my good friend Indigo from The Princess Bride thinks.

They have enough leeway in their lives to be able to protest. Why? Because they do so in defense of not only their own struggles but to take on the struggles of those who cannot be there.

How noble of them.

They protest for the people who are working three jobs to put food on the table and pay bills, and turn around and do it again the next day.

The three jobs argument is awesome…I have met maybe three people in my life who work more than one…three is quite an accomplishment. Also I wonder how many work three part time jobs that only equal full time hours?

Those people are not protesting because they cannot afford to take the time to do so.

Or because there aren’t as many as you would like to think there are.

We need to take on the burdens of those who are unable to do so and help them become self-sufficient.

Why? Who is we?….by we do you mean you? I don’t have to do a fucking thing! You can come take on my burdens if you want. I am poor…oh you don’t? Yeah…you should just shut up then

Is helping the poor not what Christ teaches?

Yes, but not enabling them.

Helping the poor in 2011 is not just taking food to the local pantry and dropping off used stuff at Goodwill. It is fighting the battles for those who do not have the time, energy, or money to spend on this, but who need it more than we can ever imagine.

I am glad you are such an expert in combating poverty. With your “excellent”  plan for financial stability, I can certainly see a boom in our future!

Does that make it a little more clear?

No!

These people can’t just “shop elsewhere.”

Why?

Many of us do have that privilege and choose to exercise it for leisure rather than necessity, and maybe this does fall on us. Maybe we should be doing more to exercise our freedoms.

First smart thing you have said.

But for every person who does so, there are dozens more who either don’t understand or don’t care about – or worst of all support – the way things are.

Goddamn capitalist!

For those in poverty, capitalism doesn’t work.It takes money to make money, and when you have zero extra money after bills and living expenses, there is no way to rise above your current situation.

So what system exactly is better? Are we to assume that communists and socialists “rise above their current situation” when they have no money? Does the state just give them a business to run and say “There you go, all set then?”

To throw in a little fun fact here, let’s talk about grocery shopping versus eating fast food.

Yes let’s.

If you spend any time at all on the Internet,

That isn’t regulated to hell with state propaganda like the socialist Chinese!

you’ve probably seen the graphic that looks something like a comparison of $25 of fast food versus $20 of groceries, claiming that what one family will pay for one meal of fast food could feed them for at least a few days on groceries. In fact, I’ll just pull it up here for you.

Here you can see several pictures that aren’t even worth the copy and paste time I would have to spend on them but I will anyways.

Take a good hard look at what you see here. Salt and pepper for 5 cents?Where’s that? Look at these prices. When was the last time you saw foods at this price? 37 cents for an onion? No way. Rice doesn’t come in cups – you have to buy the box or bag. Same for most of these.

Again, author proves she is a total buffoon. These pictures serve to equate meal cost PER SERVING, YOU TWIT! The picture is not saying the entire vial of salt is five cents. It is saying that when the math is broken down that is what it costs per serving! See, one McDonald’s meal is one serving….a tablespoon of salt per meal is one serving…or do you put a whole vial of salt on your food? This is what the cost breakdown looks like per meal, you STUPID FUCK! 

These costs are unrealistic.

Because they are not real. You made them up in your head!

There’s a reason people buy fast food. Groceries are hard to come by for those in poverty, and once you have those groceries, you have to have time to cook something. 

I can often cook a meal faster than I can get fast food!

Fast food is simply easier, faster, and satisfies hungry children more than healthy food generally will.

You must live in fat chick land!

That’s hard, but it’s true. And most often, these households don’t have time to cook because they have to be working to be able to buy food.

No, they usually have to work to cover bills. If you budget correctly, food stamps do indeed cover ALL food costs.

It’s a vicious cycle and because they can’t take a break to “pull themselves up,” they cannot and will not ever be able to break out of it without help.

Family, friends, church…not government. Besides, the point is moot because your facts are false.

By the way, if you think food stamps are a viable option, they’re not.

Yes they are. I can take care of a family of six..AND DO, on 160 dollars a week or less.

They’re not even viable as an income supplement. It’s practically impossible for one person to support him- or herself on food stamps, let alone a family.

Yeah, read what I just said

“Wall Street is Evil!”

If you have this painted on a sign, well, now you just look ignorant. Wall Street is a street that people drive on. The New York Stock Exchange is a building where people exchange stocks in New York. This is the flea market of the financial world. Don’t turn Wall Street into some terrible monster attacking American citizens. It’s just a road with some buildings on it.

If you want to talk about ignorant, this is it. Yes, this is a factual statement, but I’m going to give Ramsey a crash course in symbolism here.

Yes, I am sure Dave Ramsey, millionaire, needs a crash course in symbolism from you.

Wall Street is representative of the financial state of the nation.

No, it isn’t. More made up bullshit!

In 2008, it was no problem to talk about Wall Street as an umbrella villain, but now it’s not? That’s unacceptable.

And also a lie.

Wall Street represents the most important parts of American investment and banking. If it’s just “a road with some buildings on it,” why is the 1929 Crash also well-known as the Wall Street Crash of 1929?

It isn’t. It is most commonly referred to as “Black Tuesday” by historians.

Obviously the street didn’t fall down around itself – it was the companies, the stock exchange. Wall Street has symbolized United States investment finances for many, many, many years, and it’s truly ignorant to pretend otherwise.

Actually, that is a recent undertone… brought to life by the movie Wall Street.

 But here’s what happens. Sometimes when people don’t understand something, they start to fear it. And as the fear grows, it turns into anger. But just because you don’t understand something, you shouldn’t see it as bad or frightening or a conspiracy. You should just think of it as an opportunity to learn something new—something that could actually be a blessing to you.

It’s true, the vast majority of Americans don’t work on Wall Street. And it’s also true that much of the 1% we’re discussing here don’t actually work on Wall Street.

This is usually enough for a rational man to shut up, but she actually continues..

Maybe we don’t have a full understanding of “the way things work up there” on that “road with some buildings on it.” But that doesn’t mean that we don’t see some problems that need to be fixed, stat.

Maybe you can name just one in your article….please…pretty please?

One of the best analogies I’ve heard regarding the situation is that of a post-surgery patient lying in a hospital bed, able to feel that the doctor has left an instrument inside his or her body during surgery. She complains to the nurse that something is wrong and that she wants to see the doctor immediately to see what exactly is wrong. The nurse says that the doctor knows what he’s doing and the patient should just stop worrying about it and continue to heal and live life to the fullest – because if you aren’t a doctor, you obviously don’t understand when something feels wrong in your body. The job of a doctor is to take care of the body, not damage it, just as the job of those working on Wall Street is to be financially responsible with our investments and protect us rather than take advantage of our lack of knowledge and rob Americans because they are unable to be there. Speaking of theft…

Luckily we don’t need anecdotal comparisons when we actually have these little things called “proof” and “facts.” A doctor accidentally leaving his instrument inside of a patient compares to our financial bubble how again?

“Wealth Redistribution is the Answer!”
I’ve heard a lot about wealth redistribution over the past few years, and I’m sure you’ve heard it too. Call it whatever you want, but this is how it usually sounds to most Americans: “We are the 99% of Americans who don’t have as much as the 1%, so we’re mad and think the government should take their wealth and property away so that I can have a piece of it. Wealth inequality is a moral breakdown! We should all spread the money around so everyone gets a fair share!”

I have my toughest critique for those who believe this: You are a thief. When someone takes my money and gives me no say in the matter, that’s called theft—whether they’re using a gun or the government. At the core of this demand is envy. And that’s not the same as jealousy. Jealousy just says, “I want what you have.” Envy is a different beast. Envy says, “I don’t think I can ever have what you have, so you shouldn’t have it either.” Decades of horrible economic teaching and the politics of envy have kept this monster alive and growing and moving forward.

Here is exactly where Ramsey has gone wrong.

You mean right.

Suggesting that the wealth of the 1% be forcibly taken from them and spread around is, I’m pretty sure, not what anyone is suggesting here.

Except these guys in the occupy movement.

Maybe some fringe activists are blabbing that to the news, but someone needs to come get their folks on that one. The protest is that capitalism has gone awry and needs to be rearranged so that the poor aren’t getting poorer while the rich are getting richer. That sounds like a rhyme you’ve heard before, right? Well, now it’s especially true.

It is… but it is due to the mismanagement of money manipulators at the Federal Reserve!

And that makes no one a thief. No one is recommending stealing from anyone else. Yes, I think it’s fair to say that those who go without because they can’t afford to buy food are probably envious of those who eat whatever they want, whenever they want, just because they can.

I eat what I want, when I want, and I am poor as shit!

I am incredibly incredibly lucky and privileged that I do not have this as one of my problems, but many do. Refer to the graphic above if you’ve forgotten.

This way of thinking makes you assume that all rich people are evil and have scammed their way into wealth. That may be true in the tale of Robin Hood, but I choose to live in the real world. Sure, there are some scoundrels, but the vast majority of successful men and women got that way by working hard and serving people—lots of people.Steve Jobs and Bill Gates changed the world in ways we’re just now starting to realize. Their positive impact on the world has helped all of us live better lives, and they made fortunes for themselves by doing so. Why is it that you’re holy if you help one person but evil if you help a million? That’s just stupid.

Amen brother.

Well, Bill Gates also didn’t go to college and became a billionaire, right?

Again, most men would stop here and have an epic realization.

That’s something else people seem to cling to. Look at him, living that American Dream. I can do that, too! You know what? If you’re reading this, you probably can.

Poor people have no internet.

But this isn’t about you. Let me say that again: This conversation is Not About You.

Nobody seems to know what it is about- least of all you!

Look at your privilege.

Indigo already talked to you about this.

Bill Gates is self-made, but he did not come from extreme poverty to there, and this is what Ramsey and other anti-Occupy speakers are suggesting.

How?

Let me share with you the most frustrating sentence of this entire post, because it’s right here: Everything you have said.

“That may be true in the tale of Robin Hood, but I choose to live in the real world.”

Listen, Dave Ramsey, someone needs to come get you because that is the most classist statement I’ve heard in a long time.

Now somebody needs to come get him? That sounded like a threat…maybe somebody should come get you!

You live in a vastly privileged world where you are able to do and say whatever you want because of your own opportunities and privileges.

Sigh…poor Indigo is going to become hoarse at this rate.

Dave Ramsey does not live in the “real world.”

Yeah, he lives with the fairy folk in the land of Hod!

Again, if you’re reading this article, you live in a world where you are able to be on the Internet and surf blogs for fun. The real world, as he so whimsically was about to refer to it, is where people have no choice but to work multiple jobs and live paycheck to paycheck just to make ends meet. Just so they won’t starve to death. Just so their families will have clothes and coats for winter.

Sounds about right.

Last year, it was so cold in Oklahoma that OKC schools shut down because so many of their children walk to school without coats – because they cannot afford coats in the winter. In Oklahoma. It’s not even that cold here most of the time. This is not fair. This is not right.

“It’s not fair Dave Ramsey, give the poor kids your money for coats you damn dirty ape!” Oh wait.. that’s right…tell the parents less beer, less smokes, buy your fucking kids a coat!

My problems aren’t his fault. And my problems aren’t McDonald’s fault or Home Depot’s fault or Walmart’s fault, either. My problems are my fault! And the more people these companies serve, the more money they make—and that’s none of my business! If you don’t like McDonald’s, then here’s an idea: Don’t eat there. But don’t walk into the restaurant and demand a portion of their proceeds for the day.

This sounds infinity reasonable.

Do you want to know why so many poor people eat McDonald’s?

The same reason the rich do…because they have the best fries.

Because it’s cheap. Because one person can eat a “full meal” for two dollars, if you call two items off the dollar menu a full meal.

I don’t. I also can cook myself a great meal for two dollars.

A family doesn’t spend $27 on a meal at McDonald’s unless they’re looking to blow money. McDonald’s is cheap and it’s everywhere. It’s an alternative to eating food from the local gas station because that’s as close as many people can get to a grocery store.

Where the fuck do these people live exactly?

If you say that’s not true, you need to check your own privilege and get out in the “real world,” this so-called land of opportunity.

Indigo is gonna kill himself soon.

Celebrate the Land of Opportunity

This is the greatest country on the planet, but even here, you’re not guaranteed wealth, talent, fame, a full head of hair or six-pack abs. Those things are not in the Constitution. You are, however, guaranteed the freedom to make your life what you want it to be. And when you do that, when you build your life around your dreams and passions and hard work, you’re guaranteed the right to keep it. No one has the right to take it away from you.

No, no one is guaranteed anything. And you know what? No one is guaranteed freedom anymore. Our lives are so manipulated and controlled by those in power and those who control our investments that we don’t have that freedom. Someone can, in fact, come take that away from you. You can be put in jail for following your dreams, by going to college on loans that were guaranteed not to bankrupt you and in fact did that very thing.

Many, many Americans do not have the luxury to build their lives around their dreams.

Life’s a gamble, lady. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six. A lot of rich people got where they are because they put their whole lives on hold to gamble on their dream- and won. Don’t punish their achievements by being a bitchy shit mouth.

They have to build their lives around what pays the bills, and I would say a good 99% of the time, that does not involve any dreams, but it does involve a whole lot of hard work.

Are you saying rich people don’t work hard?

Following your dreams takes time away from earning money and being productive, and most people don’t have that luxury.

Actually, usually the opposite is true.

So to summarize, I’m not very impressed at the moment. I’m not impressed by your temper fit. I’m not impressed at your lack of goals and focus. I’m not impressed by the fact that the only thing I see about your movement is ignorance, immaturity and envy. Grow up—and get a job.

Of course Dave Ramsey is not impressed, because he is unable to check his own privilege long enough to understand that getting a job is Not That Easy.

Indigo is dead now. Thanks lady. He died of throat cancer.

In fact, it’s nigh impossible, even for college grads. The job market is flooded with those who earned bachelor’s degrees, who were told that having a college education was a guaranteed job and a leg up in the world.

By who? I have never seen a college advertisement that said “Go to school here. We guarantee you will get a job.”

What happens when that world comes crashing down and you are unable to survive?

Um…I guess you die?

Also, there are people of all ages in this protest. Many of them are over 40, many of them war veterans, many of them who have lost their jobs in the last five years. It is not a hippie’s protest.

It just looks that way.

This is an American’s fight for the right to survive in a country that promised them everything and then pulled the rug out at the last second.

Um…I don’t remember the country promising anybody anything. What do you mean right to survive? Is there republican anti-survival legislation up for a vote again? Damn republicans!

Yes, there are jobs out there. There are jobs out there that haven’t even been invented yet. Go create the next Facebook or Weed Eater. Go pick up so much dog poop that you can start your own fertilizer company. And stop complaining that companies are TOO RICH while also complaining that they aren’t RICH ENOUGH to hire you! I’ve seen a lot of you guys. I wouldn’t hire you, either. But if you take all of that energy and excitement and pour it into something new and creative, you’ll get the chance to serve a whole lot of people really well, and over a decade or two, you’ll get to become the very thing you’re now protesting: rich people who actually earned their money.

I’ll go back to what I said about following dreams. Creating your own job is impossible.

Yup, tell that to the thousands who apply for business licenses and patents daily.

It takes start-up cash, loans, investments

This is how we know you don’t have a business.

– all of which are impossible for people who need to get above the poverty line. It’s insane to think that anyone should be able to up and create the next Facebook or Weed Eater.

Why? Because you don’t know how…it’s called projecting.

Creating your own product takes a lot of money and a lot of trust by investors, and these days, who has either of those just floating around? Oh, that’s right – people who don’t need that much money to begin with.

If I strap a kitchen knife to a boot and sell it to my neighbor as a boot knife for $50 I have just made a product and sold it for less than $2. The difference between us is I think I can…you think you can’t. Therefore, neither can anybody else…you are a moron!

It’s a cycle of wealth that poor people cannot win.

Even though many have won, and have written books on how you can, too.

I am 100% positive that there are great ideas out there, but they lack funding and representation and investment, and I’m 100% positive they will never get any of those things. Because so many people are living day to day, there isn’t time for dreams.

Everybody hates me…nobody like me lalala I guess I’ll go eat worms!

This is the problem with anti-Occupy speakers. Those who would deny its legitimacy would also say that the American Dream is still a viable life plan. They would say that the Bootstraps theory applies to every American, regardless of background, when this is Simply Not True. It just isn’t.

This is a cycle of privilege that is upheld by those who live in it. Those who live in the 1% have been there all of their lives and will never fall from that position,

Really? All of them? Their whole lives?

barring an extreme financial crisis (but would only be knocked down to maybe middle class, not poverty). They are unable to understand why those in poverty cannot just pull themselves up and make something of themselves because they’ve never had to do it.

Yeah, rich bastards! Let’s hang them! Lemme hear your war cry!

Sure, they go to work every day, but they don’t have to worry about the money. It’s always going to be there for them. They aren’t living paycheck to paycheck, and their families aren’t constantly looking for their next meals. I’m not saying we need to take money from these people, but the way they make that money must change.

To what?

There is no reason for them to be making that much money while millions are unable to pay for basic human necessities.

Ahhh, so it’s not fair. My daughter who is two says that a lot when I won’t buy her candy. Of course, she doesn’t really have a say since it’s my money and she doesn’t do anything but shit, eat, and breathe…..sound familiar?

Do you want to know WHY millions of young adults take out thousands of dollars in student loans?

Because they are stupid, usually.

Because their whole lives, they’ve been told that they can grow up to do anything they set their minds to as long as they work hard and get a good college education. But now those people are left without the idealistic, high-paying jobs they were promised

Again, by who?

for their very hard work at the most cost-efficient educational facility for their dreams. And they’re stuck with enormous monthly loan payments that they are unable to pay off. Citizens should not be saddled with debt because they are doing what their parents and authority figures instructed them to do from childhood.

That’s right. We all know people can’t think for themselves. They need their parents and obscurely named authority figures to do it for them!

Trade jobs are vilified as low-class and underachieving, and so many people think they need to go to college to get a good job, when this is simply not the case. Millions of people do not need to go thousands upon thousands of dollars into the morass of loan debt so they can once again be refused the opportunity to work their way into the middle and upper classes. Those in poverty save to send themselves to college to get out of poverty, and yet are slapped with loans, which leads to low credit, inability to buy and/or rent permanent housing and/or transportation, and therefore they are often worse off than before. They are actively being denied the American dream because they believed in it, and that is wrong.

Yes, it is….And Dave Ramsey fights it every day. The credit system should be wiped out. It is inherently evil, that is true. Do some research  on the Federal Reserve, lady.

I know that I’m a liberal, and I appreciate a difference in political values.

If you want to send people after Dave, it doesn’t sound like you appreciate it at all. Are you a fat chick? …something tells me you are a fat chick!

I understand the necessity. But what is absolutely unfathomable to me is that anyone, regardless of political stance, would refuse to see the fact that there are millions of Americans (to exclude the rest of the world) who live in a state of constant poverty and are unable to “pull themselves up” because of the endless circle that is living below the poverty line.

Nobody refuses to see it. It is the cause we disagree on!

This is a movement that began in NYC, but has now spread to the entire world. There are movements and demonstrations in major cities all over the world. This has been a long, long time coming, and the worldwide divide between the wealthiest 1% and the rest of us has grown for years. It’s time for that to be over. Without a wealth restructuring plan, this will not change.

Ahhhh, ok. So now you do want to redistribute wealth, then?

Poor people cannot change this.

That’s right, those poor dumb bastards..like me..they can’t vote.

Only the wealthy can, and if they won’t, we as a democracy

We are a republic, not a democracy.

must make the change happen. It’s not “taking money from people who deserve it.” It’s making sure everyone has enough money to feed themselves and their families and stop living paycheck to paycheck.

So now it’s about people having enough money?

We’re on the cusp of some extreme financial changes in the United States, and I hope you’re all prepared.

Oh yeah. Beans, bullets, and….well, more bullets.

Privileged people, come get your folks. Just come pick them up. I haven’t even touched on the racism or sexism that falls under these categories, as well.

Save it for another blog which I will pick apart your stupidity in. I am actually getting tired now.

I didn’t have time to go into the absolutely wildly insanely ludicrous Tea Party comparisons that are being made.There isn’t time.

Yup, never is when you have 20,000 jobs.

This post is already almost 4500 words in length. There just isn’t time to go into that.

OMG, you can count?

What do you think? If you made it this far, I am truly proud to know you. Let me know what you think.

Oh, for some reason I don’t think you will be proud to know me. I think you are one of the dumbest fucking stooges on earth. I am your worst nightmare. I am a thinking, animal killing, ass kicker! I can’t be bought with promises of somebody else’s wealth. Hope to God the change you advocate doesn’t come, or those like you will suffer more than you can dream. You will reap the whirlwind of your actions. Instead of saving, you will destroy. Instead of teaching, you will stagnate. Instead of progressing, you will regress. Try not to be stupid if you can help it.

Yours Truly,

Unrighteousfury!

Winning the War In Afghanistan: I Could Do It In a Week

Let me just begin by saying I hate Allah! I mean I really hate Allah!  If Allah was really as great as his bearded, turban wearing, sand sucking, camel raping followers believed I would be smote before I finished this article…..nope,  hasn’t happened yet!

It hasn’t happened because Allah is a gay god! A total and complete sissy, girly, god! He has to be! Just look at how unmanly his followers are. When I think of Allah this is what comes to mind,

While most American men have somehow become so vaginized that they won’t say it out loud, this is how they really feel.  Do you know why? Because Allah’s countries are weak, his people are weak, and his religion is weak. In nature, weakness is rewarded with an ass kicking.

This is why so many countries full of manly men have been invading Allah’s countries and kicking his peoples asses for about a 1000 years . They know deep down inside, all politics aside, that you dress wearing, bearded gnomes need to get your asses kicked until one of two things happens:

1. You realize that you’re actually men and stop all your bullshit.

2. You all get completely eradicated.

These are your choices.  Don’t worry though, I am here to let you know some great tips on how you can be considered actual men by other real men in other countries.

1. Stop wearing dresses to keep yourselves cool. A real man just takes his shirt off. Real men don’t have time to be hot, or pick dresses out to keep them cool.

2. Put sports teams on your turbans. This would let other men around the world know that you and your friends get together for more than just a child rape every now and again.

3. Stop stoning women to death when they do stupid shit. Real men know that talking down to them in an insulting manner works much better. Why burn them at the stake when you can publicly shame them every day? You people are so stupid you sacrifice a lifetime of fun humiliating a stupid woman, for just one afternoon stoning her to death.

4. Pick a national language that doesn’t make you sound like you’re suffering from delirium after too much gay sex!

If you follow these simple steps you might get killed a lot less. I can’t guarantee it, but it is a step in the right direction.

Now, I know what a lot of you are thinking. Afghans have fought off every empire that has ever invaded them. How can a country full of sissies do that? This actually ties in to my strategy of beating them in a week. The only reason the Afghans have managed to fight off every empire they ever fought against is because they were never invaded by these crazy assholes:

That’s right, the Japanese. These guys were so tired of being considered weak, girly men by the rest of the world that they decided to kick all of their asses at once! While the mud catfish in Afghanistan declared neutrality and hid under Allah’s skirts, these guys took out most of Asia, controlled the entire pacific ocean for a time, and reinvented guerrilla warfare. These tough little bastards were so committed to not looking like pussies it took two nuclear strikes to get them finally to surrender!

My plan is simple. Give all of the money we are wasting on the war effort to the Japanese defensive force. Tell them that after they conquer Afghanistan we will split the oil 50-50 with them. Then let the brown on yellow violence commence! I see you have your doubts. Let me tell you why this would work so well.

1. The Japanese would not worry about suicide bombers. They WERE THE ORIGINAL suicide bombers. If Afghans strap a bomb to their chest so will the Japanese.  If the Afghans set up road side bombs to kill Japanese soldiers, Japanese soldiers will set up road side bombs to kill Afghan Civilians. They will terrorize the terrorists.

2. The Japanese up until Sept.11 prided themselves on delivering the most preemptive war strike on American soil in history. The arrogant Afghan’s thought they could 1 up the Japanese. To Japanese honor, that is the equivalent of killing one of their wives. It must be answered by blood.

3. There would no longer be any more charges of rape in Afghanistan against occupying soldiers. Everybody who has ever watched a Japanese Anime knows that Japanese men are only interested in small white blonde women, with blue eyes, and huge boobs. I haven’t seen Afghan women that fit that bill.

4. The Japanese are not afraid of the Chinese. If the Afghans go crying to the Chinese for help, the Japanese would love to finish what they started in WW2 and invade that country as well. In that case the United States could finally free itself of the Chinese trade war freeing us up from trillions in debt and allow us to compete once again against Chinese sweat shops.

This is a good plan. It would take a bold leader with some guts to implement but I think we could do it. Join with me and together we will lobby congress to sign the “Put Pressure on the Japanese to go to War” Act.

The Bin Ladens won’t know what hit ’em!

Veganism and Vagisil: Why They Go Together

Let me start off by saying that I do not hate vegetarians. I don’t. Really, I despise them!

Even though there is a literal mountain of evidence supporting the fact that they are complete buffoons and morons, still they persist in trying to shove their supposed moral high ground down the throats of meat-eating ass kickers, such as myself.

I figured today I would give a logical breakdown of why Vegans are not only stupid, but pussies.

This article is not aimed at women. Everybody knows that women are overly emotional and think that their little yipper, ankle biting poodles are their kids to be put in sweaters and toted in purses. So women- don’t even bother commenting. Your opinions are not wanted on this article. Nobody would take what you had to say on the subject seriously anyways.

No, this article is targeting men. Especially the men that actually buy into this Vegan way of life.

First lets do the logical breakdown. Men can usually follow that. Are you ready? Good!

= FUCKING DELICIOUS!

Here is the mathematical formula:

Steak+Stomach=Full

Steak+Broccoli+Stomach=Full

Steak+Other meats=Full

Vegetables-Steak=Not Full

Man+Steak+Beer=Ass Kicker

Man+Vegetables-Steak=Pussy

You can check my carefully constructed calculations all you want, but you will find they always come out to be the same answers. Let me break down why that is.

Below is a video of Robb Wolf, a very accomplished writer, speaker, and scientist. You will see him kill an elk with a primitive weapon resembling a spear called an Atlatl while dressed in cave man attire.  Perhaps the first man in thousands of years to do so.

Watching this video made me want to do these things in this order,

Why, you ask? Because it reminded me what I am. A FUCKING MAN!!! Real men eat vegetables- no doubt about it. They eat lettuce on their burger, mushrooms on their steaks, tomato in their beef stew. Real men do not EAT VEGETABLES as their primary source of nourishment, ever!

Men have forgotten what they are. Too many men have let women’s pathetic animal worshiping cults like PETA convince them to stop being what they have always been, ANIMAL ASSASSINS!

That’s right, I said it. Be what you were made to be. Men love killing animals. They think it is awesome.  You know what else? They are right. If animals were worth anything more than a piece of meat on my fucking plate, they would have invented gunpowder, not the other way around.

Men have been assassinating and eating the flesh of animals since the dawn of time.  What happened after Robb killed the elk? A BIG PARTY! Why, you ask? Because the men were happy in their recent exploits to assassinate an Elk that dared to think it was superior. That’s right, superior. Did you see the size of that Elk gang, prancing around in the field and ravaging the countryside? The men of the group knew on instinct that these 500 pound land destroying monsters had to be stopped. One hero, half the size of even one of these leviathans bravely faced down hundreds of them, and with the manliest of manly throws took down one of these knife horned beasts! After he skillfully assassinated the behemoth he pulled out a sharpened rock, cut the damned thing open and ate its heart as a warning to all the other Elk in the region that their reign of terror was over. So manly was h,e in fact, that he even shared the meat with the women of the group- in return for no sex! Something I certainly could never do.

Sadly though, one of the women (obviously a part of the previously mentioned animal worshiping cults) refused even one bite of the meat. If only it was a real caveman experiment I’m sure the men of the group would have clubbed her, fucked her, and ate her share anyway. Maybe even ate her.

That is what men do. They kick ass! They don’t take shit! They eat meat. I don’t need science to tell me eating meat is good for me. I know it already. I had Fred Flintstone telling me all about it when I was a kid. Anybody remember Fred Flintstone? He was the manliest of men who ever lived. Let’s see what his dinner looked like.

Fred had it all. A hot skinny wife, a beautiful daughter, a good job, and a pro bowling team. You didn’t see Fred eating giant prehistoric plants did you? No way buddy! Meat all the way.

In closing Vegan males are all pussies. To prove this I am issuing the $250 dollar challenge. If there are any men in the Michigan area who have been on a vegetarian diet for ten years or longer, I will meet you in a professional cage fight. If you win I will give you $250 dollars and an apology. Hopefully you will be strong enough to hold  open the door to the arena. By the way, I never work out and I am about 175 pounds. I promise you my manliness will destroy you long before my fists even touch your weak Vegan face.

Put your money where your mouths are, you weak Vegan sissy boys. I am waiting. If not, then just shut up about your morally superior lifestyle. I promise I will beat it right out of you! Because my balls are as big as the DEATHSTAR! You, on the other hand, complain and whine if Bambi gets shot in the head, take vitamins to offset the the lack of meat, and have sex with women who have armpit hair. All of these things make me question if you even have testicles.  I really hope somebody contacts me soon. I reallllly want to kick some vegan ass!

Protesters Are Pussies!

Too many protesters, not enough killing.

Recently, people from all walks of life all over the country have converged on the wall street stock exchange as part of the Occupy Wall street movement.

I actually agree with the movement in principle. Everybody knows that assholes in pin striped suits perpetrated the largest theft of our nation’s treasury in recorded history. Then they bailed out foreign banks and “too big to fails” with stolen money effectively destroying our very concept of free markets.

What started as a few people with some low tech signs has quickly turned into a wildfire of hippie assholes in drum circles too stupid to form complete thoughts when speaking to national camera crews. It is sad, really. People all over the country were looking at this protest with hope. Hope that Americans were finally pissed off enough with the money changers and their elitist agenda to steal our wealth and keep the people enslaved under debt. Hope that finally people were uniting to put an end to the corruption all souls know is on Wall Street and the crimes perpetrated by the same criminals who have led our country again and again to artificial bubbles, incredible inflation, and the devaluation of the dollar.

Sadly, just like the Tea Party movement was hijacked and destroyed by the Republicans, the Democrats have done the same thing to the Occupy Wall Street crowd. Big stars with socialist agendas and union crime bosses have converged like a pack of vultures to lead this unorganized rabble to the promised land using the same old tired left-wing arguments. They blame the rich and the free market system [which we don’t have] and make Obama the savior of the poor and champion of the disenfranchised.

The protesters call the movement a revolution. This is not a revolution! Why can’t people understand that until they show up to these events openly armed so they can’t be controlled by police that nothing will ever change? Politicians with huge wallets and the special interest controlled media will drown their voices out with a chorus of pundits, articles, and misinformation. If the protesters get to rowdy the police will simply beat them down with rubber bullets and batons. This is not a revolution- this is a joke. This is what revolution looks like!

Soon this protest will be dust in the wind. Few people will even remember it existed, and only then in obscure anecdotes. America is waiting for true revolution and it can’t be done peacefully anymore. The system is too corrupt, the special interests are too large, the money changers have too much power.

Let me tell you instead how a protest like this should be conducted- but never will- because protesters have obviously become a bunch of dope-smoking hippie fucks that refuse to do anything that even remotely looks like real civil disobedience.

The Protesters Guide

1. Cops only understand one thing- Force! They are trained to control a situation through numbers and intimidation. Descending in force on protesters with batons, riot shields, and pepper spray bombs is the highlights of their day. They have been trained to think that you are the enemy and that their authority is supreme. You are not making a powerful statement by being led like lambs to the slaughter. Instead, the police think you are a joke and the media backs them up. You have the right to openly carry firearms in this country. The entire purpose of that right is so you don’t have to feel intimidated by armed government officials showing up and trying to shut your voice down through fear. Do you think this kind of machine is really afraid of you and your little cardboard sign?

2. You have been conditioned to believe that real change can be wrought with peaceful protest. It can’t. Not anymore. So why even bother?

What do you think police would do if 10,000 armed protesters showed up to peacefully protest? I have no idea myself, since protesters have no balls and won’t do it. Instead they urinate on a police vehicle to show “The Man” that they aren’t gonna take it. WOW, what an incredible showing of civil disobedience. Tools! Here is how protests should start.

3. Grow a sack!

These are what balls look like!

When police show up to your protest, tell them to get the fuck out. Stop letting them dictate what streets you are “allowed” to march through. Stop letting them dictate where the “official protest” areas are. I thought this was supposed to be a revolution, nancy boy! I don’t remember reading about George Washington holding rallies in ‘British Police Authorized Only’ zones! If it’s really a revolution, then act like it. Here’s a guy that understands that at least a little bit!

4. Elect some leadership in your groups for god’s sake. Stop letting every hippy fuck and slacker jerk off talk to camera crews. They make you look like fucking idiots. Have official spokesmen that talk for the group, and tell everybody else to shut the fuck up! The protesters know why they are there, but leave it to articulate people to explain it to others. Trust me- when kids in hemp pants using sweat shop made iPhones, tweeting on their corporate sponsored laptops start talking about the evils of capitalism, nobody pays attention.

5. Never allow people to attack private business, EVER! If protesters start breaking into shops and stealing things, the police can rally public support to take your protest down! If you need to attack something make sure it’s a government building. Nobody gives a shit about those. Also, you can at least make the argument that you’re destroying shit you already paid for.

In closing, stop calling this pathetic, uninteresting protest a revolution. When you are prepared to start doing this to the assholes who have been destroying our liberties for the past hundred years, look me up.

Until then call it what it really is: A left wing sponsored asshole-fest full of hypocrites, and drum circle, fire-spinning, rave going shitheads that can’t even explain their cause when asked.

Good luck with your “Revolution!”